Last weekend, MLKjr B'Day weekend, the Fernandez clan packed up into the rented SUV and headed up North up by Vermont way a piece. On the way up we got stuck in some pretty shitty traffic. Jam after jam of cars. On top of the slowness there was this insane fog like I have never driven through. Total classic pea-soup in bands of grey nothingness. It would break and we could see for 100 feet and then nothing but fog and by then we'd be back in it. That was pretty terrifying! We finally crawled past the totally fucked up accident site reason for all the slowness. It involved the totally crushed front end of a car and a completely dented highway guard-rail. After that the traffic finallly relented and we were able to drive the real speed limit: 80mph. At one point we stopped for some gas. As I was pumping the gas I stopped to notice that I was pumping the gas in a t-shirt and I wasn't too cold. That was a bad sign for skiing. Typically when you go skiing you want it too be cold. The forecast wasn't promising but when you make skiing plans you go even if a volcano bursts out of the top of the mountain. My mom and brother were driving in her car and were way ahead of us but thanks to my reckless driving we continued kicking ass on the highway until we caught them, just as they arrived at the condo.
The condo was very nice. It was definitely one of the more "lived in" condos we've stayed in. Lots of personal touches. Most importantly there was a four foot tall bear carving which has been named "John Bare-Ass III" by the hilarious owners. Waa-waaaaaaa. The really nice thing was it had a hot tub and we made nice use of it.
Saturday: We woke up Saturday to the pitter-patter of torrential rain. True to forecast it was 50 degrees and rained all day. We basically sat around in our longjohns and watched TV. We did manage to watch about 4.5 hours of 6 hours of the Documentary "Country Boys" about some learning challenged kids in Kentucky or something. It featured my favorite TV moment in a while. One of the kids who's dad killed his mom and then took his own life is now in a Christian rock band. The guys is introducing their first song as they play on the road in West Virginia at a Christian rock club called "The Rock". He tells about his fathers murder/suicide and how he himself dabbled in drugs, satanism and witchcraft and only found the truth in Jesus. Then he said "All praise is do to our Lord. This song is called Death." Then the song is basically a death metal song about his father killing his mom. Actually stepmom who was a stripper. As the day drew on the forecast again proved true. As the sun went down the temperture dropped to 20 and it started to snow. It snowed 8" by the morning.
SUNDAY: Normally if you wake up to 8" of snow and you're skiing you're psyched. However is the snow is preceeded by a million inches of rain you're in trouble. The rain had stripped the snow off the mountain and left it covered in hard as fuck ice. The mountain had been making snow all night allong with the natural snow but the wind was just whipping it into the woods. We hit the slopes and headed to the lifts. The temperature was like zero degrees and with windchill it was 20 below. The wind was insane. On the lift up to the top of the mountain we were all in total agony as the wind ripped straight through our clothes. After our 2nd run we decided to go into the lodge and thaw out. It was crazy. No one wanted to go out into the cold because it was total horrorshow out there. We went back out there a few more times before we decided that it just wasn't worth the suffering. Once we were on the trails we would forget about the misery until we got back to the bottom of the trail. The snow was great where it wasn't total shear sheet glacial ice but that ice would just suddenly appear and totally fuck up our runs until we figured out where they were. We picked up Ace, who we'd dropped off at the mountain daycare and headed back to the condo for some de-icing in the hot tub. We watched the new season of 24, which was awesome, and chilled. I made some of my classicly delicious fondue and called it a night.
Monday: We packed up our gear and headed out to the mountain. The mountain snow guys were working all night on the main made snow and it showed. The winds had died down do the snow wasn't difting all over. We found some kick ass trails with great conditions and stayed on them. It was still cold but only around 10 degrees above zero instead of below. It's funny that as a family we've never been one of those families that saves $ by bringing all their food and just leaving a bag in the lodge. We always choose to buy a mediocre industrial grade meal for 300% it's worth. Why? I don't know. Skiing is expensive enough as it is! We called it a day at around 3pm and headed back to the big apple.
Driving back to NY was crazy. We got to crawl past yet another serious car accident. This one involved a car that did something so naughty it caught fire and needed two fire engines to make it not be all flamey and burny. The rest of the drive was basically bumper to bumper but everyone was going 60-70mph. It was basically a deadly mishap waiting to happen but luckily it didn't. We pulled into Brooklyn at aroun 9:30 and totally lucked out and got front parking. I was planning to return the SUV back to Alamo when we were done with the unloading but I was told that if I returned it on Monday I would be hit with an "Early Return Fee." WACK! So I had to drive it in first thing in the morning. Oh Alamo Car Rental, why can't you be cheap and not weird?
Tuesday we had a rehearsal with Gunshow that was pretty awesome. We've been working on some new stuff to get us out of the rut we'd been in for a few months. I like the fact that we pick things up so quickly. By the end of the rehearsal I felt like we'd really done some good work. Gunshow had a show Weds night but I couldn't make it due to work. As it turned out I wouldn't have gone anyway due to my magic illness.
But I woke up on Weds feeling kid of weird. I went to work and enjoyed my usual bowtie & coffee. About 10 mins after my breakfast I was feeling like shit. I put my head on my desk and kind of went in and out of passing out for an hour before I started to feel okay again. Then as the day went on I kept fading and recovering. By the time I went home I was feeling pretty crappy. I ran a minor fever most of the night but woke up feeling okay. I decided I was well enough to make it into work. However about an hour after making it in I started to feel shitty again. My boss and co-worker accused me of trying to make everyone sick. I headed out early and made it home just in the nick of time. Literally as I put the key in the front door of my apartment I was siezed by a fierce urge to crap my pants. I resisted this foul push and made it inside to the bathroom. I missed filling my trousers with liquid feces but only by a second. I no longer felt as sick. No fever. Not quite as queasy. However Friday I was woken up by almost crapping in my bed so I decided it probably wasn't the best idea to go 45min by train to work. I thought I might do something interesting with the day off like going to a movie or something but instead I felt crappy and fell asleep for most of the day.
Now as the day is over I am not really as concerned about my guy anymore but seem to have developed an insane deep lung cough. More irritating is that I am missing Ryan & Matt's 7 years in NYC party. It surely would have been a slammajamma of a party. Of course now that I couldn't make it I am sure it was just a slamma. How could it have been both a slamma & a jamma without Lou? Exactly. I knew you'd agree. I would have gone even with this cold but we couldn't find a sitter.... fucking sitters.
Fuck this weather and this winter. It's fucking 60 degrees in January... We're fucked.
