BO SELECTA'!

I had an extremely bizarre subway ride home last night. It was a typical after work train ride. I was trying to read some manual for a software app and started feeling sleepy. I closed my eyes and drifted off for maybe a stop before I was awakened by an totally insane sound. I opened my eyes and looked around and standing by the door to my left was a big black dude in a felt hat, spiffy suit and leather overcoat. But what he was wearing isn't what woke me up. What woke me was his insane voice and the fact that he was using it to sing terrible songs into a little tape recorder. For the next 30 minutes, due to a guy who fell onto the train tracks slowing everyhing up, I was forced to listen to this nut job singing his gratuitous sex jams. Now what was weird about his voice? It's hard to explain precisely. It sounded like a Speak'N'Spell that had been chain smoking for 30 years. The deepest, gravelly voice I have ever heard I think. And so he sang song after song in with that crazy sound about fucking ladies. His first jam was, I assume, "Sit Upon It". It was a daring song in which he asks his female conquest to impale herself on his organ. Mostly it consisted of saying "Girl, situponit, situponit, dig in your heels and grin'upon'it." But that isn't where the weirdness ends. His next 4 songs included a womans part which he also sang in an completely and totally insane falsetto. So high in fact that its was pretty much unintelligible. From his second song I was able to glean the following lyric. "Me like de girl with de good hygiene, brush dem teef and use listerine" followed by the womans saying she is clean or something. Then in between songs he would say something in a normal human voice introducing the next song and then right back into insane computer voice. The best part is that he wasn't asking for money. He was just being mildly weird on the train to the great amusement of myself and all the black women on the train. Most of the other people in the car seemed to be just annoyed. I was getting annoyed by the 5th song but luckily it was my stop. When I got home to relieve the nanny I told her the story and she knew whom I was talking about. She said she had been on a train with him and the police had to come take the guy off the car because he was doing the same thing on a packed rush hour car and screaming his crazy lyrics. Like in the face of someone on their way to work. Earlier in the week I made some photoshops for a something awful thread. Basically the idea was to change inappropriate protest signs from the lovely people at goghatesfags.com with stupidity. They had gone to the funeral of the 12 miners who died in that fire just to let people know that because America has embraced homesexual culture that he kills miners. That's right, all bad things happen because of fags. Out of context the signs are just weird probably not very funny but I enjoy it. Finally, happy birthday Trogdor