Good Stuff!

I found through a forum I frequent that a well known east coast head shop is having a raffle to benefit haiti.

RAFFLE FOR HAITI.

We at Kulture were extremely pleased with the response from our auctions to benefit Haiti in this great time of need. We also had several blowers and people in the industry ask us if they could help and donate some things to Kulture. We decided that we would take these items, add some of our own and create the "Ultimate Smokers Package" for you to win. So here you have it. Kulture is trying to raise $5000 to donate to Haiti. We are raffling off the "Ultimate Smokers Package". We are selling 1000 $5 raffle tickets, limit 10 per person. 100% of the monies collected will go to Doctors Without Borders. One lucky person will win this package. This package includes...

19" Etched 7mm Sheldon Black Straight from Kulture
Extreme Digital Vape with Remote and Large Space Case from Kevin @ 5 Star Distributors
Worked Sherlock from Bob @ All About It
Worked Dry from DEW
Curly Horny Solo Spliffster from Boxfan

We will have a live drawing at Kulture Southside Thursday February 18, 2010 @ 4:20 PM and invite you all to be there as we select the winner! You do not need to be present to win, but must be 18 years of age or older. We also will not ship to PA or Iowa. If you are mailing in your payment please send an email to sales1@kultureva.com and let us know how much you are sending so we can be on the lookout.

Payments can be made out to "Kulture" and mailed in via money order to:
Kulture Cares
10621 Hull St. Rd.
Midlothian, VA 23112

You can also buy your tickets in person at any Kulture location.

If you smoke herbs thats a pretty nice deal (if you win). So if you're thinking that you want to help but also want to possibly win a ton of weed smoking equipment then go hogwild! Eh, either way it's going to charity.

Sorry people I've been so busy working on Lou Reads that I hardly ever have time to think about bloggin at the old bloggity.

I'll just pop in today to say that today we were supposed to get 4-8 inches of snow. We got like half an inch. I am super sick of the weather panic machine selling us the snow fear. They are probably shilling for the road salt and shovel industry. BULLSHIT I SAY! NYC's pollution bubble always wins. ALWAYS!

I'm on vacation in New Hampshire but that doesn't mean I'm not wasting time on the internet!

Also I apparently do not control the destiny of my facial hair. At least not without being negatively compared to people who are considered unattractive. Nice. So far this mustache has gotten me compared to Jose Cuervo, Juan Valdez, a Greek restauranteur and Ron Jeremy. Hooray....

Also the world continues to be dumb.

The original Dirty Cowboy


And the super awesome remake commanded by the Something Awful MASTER PLAN!


The Masterplan is a volunteer challenge for Something Awful members. Upon accepting the challenge the issued challenge cannot be refused. Failure to atleast attempt to complete the challenge results in a Permaban from the site.

Original Volunteer and challanger RUTTIGER!

YOUR TASK:
The Master Plan demands that you recreate, in it's entirety, The Dirty Cowboy YouTube video, complete with the disco cowboy costume or something equally absurd.

The video in question:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dw2Q9BdcE9U

The special effects, the dingy environment, the confidence, and the choreography, oh yes, those hot dance moves, must all be copied to the very best of your ability, and uploaded as a response. Your updates will include your scouting out the location for the shoot, your attempts at practicing the dance moves, and the finished product.

Other countries have had adult stars in their governments. Isn't it about time the US caught up with the rest of the world?

I just heard about this on The Sound of Young America or Jordan Jesse GO! and almost forgot about it.



Where the hell is my money for "Hairy Pooner and the Sexerers Bone" or "Hairy Pooner and the Big Dong Prince" surely someone has money for me to make these movies that must be made. Ok "MegaDik versus OctoTwat."

Me lose brain? Uh-Oh...

A great prank I saw on SomethingAwful (yeah I know you're sick of hearing it).

My friends and I have a yearly tradition that we refer to as LobsterFest. LobsterFest consists entirely of us comically harassing a Red Lobster restaurant and then seeing if they will be willing to serve us afterwards. This year was the 5th year anniversary of LobsterFest so we decided to go for broke and attempt to get banned from the restaurant forever. Unfortunately, or fortunately depending on your perspective, they had a better sense of humour than we originally anticipated. My friend recently posted our adventure in a youtube thread and it got a pretty good response so I thought you guys might get a kick out of it:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l--BvXpaGq4

It's worth noting that any music you hear in the video was actually playing on a boombox we brought with us.

I'd love to hear if you enjoyed the video. I'd also love to hear if you hated it and everyone involved. But this is not the reason I am posting. We feel that over the last 5 years we have exhausted our options at Red Lobster and that it is time to move on. What restaurant should be our next target? What incredible story should unfold before the next hapless manager? Should we stop acting like children and get girlfriends? The legend of LobsterFest must live on.

Great Payoff in this video.

Sadly I made this after a internet conversation with Nick Turner generated this sentence. The idea that this phrase could be on a t-shirt was so funny to me I had to mock one up. It's such an absurd statement. First of all people are going to hit the idea of cum-filled anything being served to them and be revolted. But secondly then they hit the idea of shit cakes and the person wearing the shirt was actually served this food abomination and that they ate them somehow un-wittingly. if you want to be a conversation starter please make yourself this t-shirt today.